THe_NeFaRiouS's Xanga

Monday, September 27, 2004

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 01:51:51 GMT

What a great day...

Don't tell anyone... but I'm really falling for Lisa...

...

falling hard...

...

We went to church together today... See! She kept her promise!

She was running so late; I'm surprised we made it on time. This is the first time I have ever sat next to a girl, in church, that I actually like. We were lightly holding hands in the pew. I'm glad she came. Afterwards, we went to a friend's house, who had invited us to come out to that congregation. It's a nice mixed congregation... Whites, Blacks, Filipinos, Indians, Hispanics... you name it. So at the house, we just all talked for a bit... Lisa was really happy and bouncy... she was basically hopping around... It made me happy to see her like that. And she was so comfortable she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug... lots of love and affection, I set it aside in my head that I always wanna do my best to keep her that comfortable... Nice day, right?

Dean.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Thu, 16 Sep 2004 17:27:51 GMT

Yesterday I got to see Lisa, I hardly get to spend time with her, and even less a few moments alone. Basically we were surrounded by ppl all night, except for the very end when we waited on the J train... I actually missed a few trains. I kept telling her I'll take the next one, and going back to my last post, and an even older one, it's like I said, emotional vampire. I really wanted to squeeze every last drop outta the little time we had together. She was a little cold so she had like goosebumps, I tried to keep her warm by putting my arms around her... one problem, I'm slim and have little hands. I had to rethink a million things last night as to where our relationship was headed. There a little bit of uncertainty, but I like the fact that things are going down a good road, at a controllable pace. I prayed about it and said to God that I don't know what the decision to start dating her meant, and I don't even know if I gave myself a lot to work with there. So everything committed to God I said if you can create everything ex nihilo, I am assured that you can take the little I have and make it great. In term's of this relationship, I hope God guides it. She's her priorities strait and is very good at sticking to her word, and loyal. And addressing the other issue I had brought up last post, she said she would go to church with me a couple of weeks in a row... haha, we are kind of avoiding going to my local church, instead we are going to another one, where no one knows either of us... sad to say, but people talk and can't really mind their own business. Especially those mothers that want me to be their son-in-law. Another plus is that Bruno, of all people, gave her a thumbs up. First time he has given a girl a seal of approval. Just have to see what Rajan says... He's actually a harder critic. Avi's a pushover... he likes her already. Either ways im the one who has to date her,right? And I couldn't be happier! Sam, you didn't welcome me to the club...

No Longer Single,

-Dean N. Gunraj

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 12:53:51 GMT

A girl asked a boy if she was pretty.
He said no
She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever.
He said no
She then asked him if he would cry if she walked away.
He again said no.
She had heard too much.
She needed to leave.
As she walked away, he grabbed her arm and told her to stay, he said,
"You're not pretty, your beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die."

A lot of things have changed... some of you know(, others don't,) about this girl I have started seeing. I really want to make her happy, and not break her heart. I think the worst thing about her is that she doesn't attend church services as much as I would like. It's not that she has anything against it, but it's the usual ranking of priorities. I talked to her about it, and I am glad to say that she said she would come more often. Nothing would make me happier than to see her take Christ as Lord, God, Saviour, and Friend. I look at women like my own mother. She's really great and it's mostly due to Christ in her life. That's why I feel it's important. Plus everyone wants to know that their significant other isn't "condemned already"(-John 3:18). But all things in mind, she is a really great person. Honestly because of how everything is for the both of us, academia and all... I'm taking things easy and giving her lots of space to do well with her studies. (It's so sweet, she wrote a poem about me. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. OH and I absolutely ADORE the time we spend together. I soak up every last moment like a leech.) Well until next time xoxo to everyone!

Sick with the flu (or something like it),

-Dean

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 18:02:30 GMT

Been a while since I have posted... I am looking foward to the upcoming school semester... looking foward to, yet utterly fearing. (College buddies can back me up on this one.) I think I got my mother a little angry yesterday. The whole situation is kind of strange, we could discuss any issue of denomination and I remember her once saying neither protestants nor roman catholics are necessarily the followers of our Lord Jesus. But then as my critique (also with critique toward my own short comings) shifts through the conversation the spinning needle on the selection pie chart in this game of churchianity lands on the Pentecostal movement. First and foremostly, I have nothing personal against the Trinitarian Pentecosal Church. (The Unitarians and myself are still locked in debate; they're losing.) But well the natural question I always asked is how dedicated to Christ is the group. This question itself consists of many other questions. Importantly I myself focus on addressing issues of utmost trust in the will and power of God, accuracy, and authenticity. Now before I continue I do know of men whom were either branded or branded themselves pentecostalists, whose goal it was to fully seek and serve God in book Spirit and Truth. Men such as my departed uncle, Mohammed Ishmael. Who at his uttmost breaking point, left his family's tradition of Islam and came seeking the light that only Christ could offer. I would say I am sure of him now, because he can do no more for the sake of the Gospel. I would say he had a very high energy level, yet he was very conservative. He was on fire, yet so aware that God was in control, I would say that He was much more aware than the greater part of the Assemblies of God in the 5 boroughs of New York City. I do not speak these kind words as a form of respect toward the sake of his R.I.P. No, I am establishing a benchmark. Personally, I could care less how much or how little noise you make, or how much you dance. But in his example I would say I never heard complexity. Just the simplicity that is in Christ Jesus. He was a sensational person, but I wouldn't not corall him with the rest of AG saying that he was easily sway to exercise sensationalism as a form of propaganda. Of such, everyone should be warned, including the Assemblies of God, and greater Trinitarian Pentecostal Church. Now like I said, more or less I am using his life as a slight benchmark (Christ as the ultimate benchmark, of course). Now for the majority of my life I grew being indoctrinated by the Pentecostal Church. Yet it is not until I ended up rejecting all denomination in all forms, including the Pentecostalism was it that I noticed life started finally pointing toward Christ. I have noticed that on some occasions (those occasions with full Holy Biblical foundations and the truth filled revelation of the Holy Spirit). That they preached for the most part the simplicity of Christ. One thing that set back a higher degree of respect for the organization was this crazy teaching/interpretation of scripture in which a minister said it would be illegal that God should situate himself in the physical realm because of His nature, and the dominion in which He gave men, the same minister stated the same of Satan. I would say that the Pentecostal Church has for the most part given too much credit and power to Satan. Along those lines I asked the simple question, what about Jesus' temptation where Satan says that he now has dominion given to him from men. A slight question that would dispell an entirely incorrect doctrine. Simply stated for many of us, we understand by scripture and by experience that God is omnipresent. This would have posed a problem because the greater feeling in the organization is that they really trust their ministers on all they speak. So when I said, "I took notes, I am going to check on the things he preached about," conflicted sparked. Simply the lesson to learn is that in one sense or another (as previously discussed in the barber shop a.k.a. the forum) to some extent all denominations are cults, and I believe the minute inclusion they have to the Christian title shift focus off of our Lord and our God. You see I used the Pentecostal Movement, and my uncle as examples. But putting both aside the lesson to be learned still rests on Jesus Christ. The prejudices of the demoninations will not stand in the kingdom of heaven. I have sat quietly as Pentecostalists try to convince me that I have no revelation or experience of the Holy Ghost because I haven't experience God in their way (now the thing is I could tell that that I have visually seen and audibly heard the Lord Jesus Christ in all His glory and what would they then say about my experiences with God, even I don't down-play an individuals experience with God because I have had such an experience. In my mind every, experience with God is equally pertinent when it leads a person to Christ. Perhaps these few think I am lying, does it matter? The resting question that sits in my head is do they say this because I choose to see God as my Master rather than my tool? I can reminesce on Benny Hinn's name-it-and-claim-it teaching, totally without Biblical basis, for we read that it is according to the will of God that things are brought to past. I am reminded of T.D. Jakes' modalist tones. And I am given goosebumps of chilling fear to think that these are the people (as well as many other Protestants) that recite the Apostles' Creed, yet make modifications to it, one of which is the removal of the part that says I believe in one holy catholic and apostlic church. I believe it's an issue of insecurity. Plain and simply to wrap this up, sometimes you find yourself among Christian, sometimes you find yourself among Protestants.

I.H.S.

Dean N. Gunraj

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 03:57:42 GMT

There's alotta guys I know that wanna get married... I am not only speaking of you (you know who you are). They really love their girls, I know that. And I am sure they could count the grains of sand and find that number of reasons for them to spend a lifetime with those women.

What is it about guys that make us so ardently romantic (in thought mostly). Should this be considered hardwired genetics instilled for the purpose of procreation, set into work by our Creator. Nah, probably more a cultural thing. I think the places where you find these slipknot cavaliers are the more westernized regions.

One thing I think girls need to realize about men under such an influence is that we are more romantic that you girls are, with the level of creativy to back it up. I don't say this to diminish the significance of emotional contributions that any woman may have to offer, but I say there is great reason and logic behind this. This reason, this logic... well that would take a few pages worth of posting to explain. Take my word on this one. The emotional potential of a relationship rest a little more on men, as much as they should deny it. I think we are like emotional vampire wanting to suck as much love as we can outta our female counterparts... but we really love you guys, we don't say it and think we love you enough to say it... for us love is expressed verbally and otherwise because the journey to love was a trip we took barefoot on rugged terrain in the hot sun of our intense burning for you. Love because we could match it with the willingness to endure suffering to match. Love means for a guy that he has crossed a line, reached a point of no return, and faced a limit which he has broken..

Now with these friend who just love these girls so much they don't want to let go they get excited and want to marry, justly so. But my friends, easy. Remember how you first approached love, you asked yourself a sequence of questions to discern where you stood. Columbus upon approach the shores of the Americas ask a number of question to determine his location, until through logic he discovered he wasn't in india. When all our quandries were satisfied, and all systems showed green, we hit the launch button and went at full throttle, because thats the only speed that could break the gravity of situation. That's LOVE!

But now marriage is like that. Start asking the question because right now, your love is outta this world... but marriage means that we must now leave the moon station and journey toward the more distant stars... Trusting in God and understanding yourself... endeavor of both... are all systems green? The answer once again makes the decision. Me and Sam were discussing how this decision is a two part, but its answer is binary... pass or fail... make sure both lights are lit... and make sure all systems are green.

Trust in God,

Dean N. Gunraj

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 23:39:05 GMT

What is a Christian?

I guess the term has become a bit more complex than its original meaning of being a "Christ-like one."

But with due cause... let me explain.

Over the years radical, very strange, and very wrong groups have emerged. You know these people, perhaps even personally; perhaps you are one. I hate to point fingers, but enumerated among the nonChristians, that think they are Christians are Jehovah's Witness, Mormons, Roman Catholics (not to be confused with catholic), Iglesia ni Kristo, Delphianist, 'Christian' Scientists, and the list goes on.

If I could think of one main thing that summarized what a Christian believes, it has got to be the Nicene Creed. And I repeat is as many times as I can weekly.

We believe in (Romans 10: 8-10; 1 John 4: 15)
ONE God, (Deuteronomy 6: 4, Ephesians 4: 6)
Father (Matthew 6: 9)
Almighty, (Exodus 6: 3)
Maker of Heaven and Earth, (Genesis 1: 1)
and of all things visible and invisible. (Colossians 1: 15-16)

And in ONE Lord Jesus Christ, (Acts 11: 17)
Son of God, (Mathew 14: 33; 16: 16)
Only-Begotten, (John 1: 18; 3: 16)
Begotten of the Father before all ages. (John 1: 2)
Light from Light; (Psalm 27: 1; John 8: 12; Matthew 17: 2,5)
True God from True God; (John 17: 1-5)
Begotten, not made; (John 1: 18)
of one essence with the Father (John 10: 30)
through whom all things were made; (Hebrews 1: 1-2)
Who for us men and for our salvation (1 Timothy 2: 4-5)
came down from heaven, (John 6: 33,35)
and was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary (Luke 1: 35)
and became man. (John 1: 14)
And He was crucified for us (Mark 15: 25; 1 Corinthians 15: 3)
under Pontius Pilate, (John 19: 6)
suffered, (Mark 8: 31)
and was buried. (Luke 23: 53; 1 Corinthians 15: 4)
And on the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures, (Luke 24: 1 1 Corinthians 15: 4)
and ascended into heaven, (Luke 24: 51; Acts 1: 10)
and sits at the right hand of the Father; (Mark 16: 19; Acts 7: 55)
and He shall come again with glory (Matthew 24: 27)
to judge the living and the dead; (Acts 10: 42; 2 Timothy 4: 1)
Whose Kingdom shall have no end. (2 Peter 1: 11)

And in the Holy Spirit, (John 14: 26)
Lord, (Acts 5: 3-4)
Giver of Life, (Genesis 1: 2)
Who proceeds from the Father [and the Son]; (John 15: 26)
Who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; (Matthew 3: 16-17)
Who spoke through the prophets. (1 Samuel 19: 20; Ezekiel 11: 5,13)

In one, (Matthew 16: 18)
holy, (1 Peter 2: 5,9)
catholic, (Mark 16: 15)
and apostolic Church. (Acts 2: 42; Ephesians 2: 19-22)

I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins. (Ephesians 4: 5)
I look for the resurrection of the dead, (John 11: 24; 1 Corinthians 15: 12-49; Hebrews 6: 2; Revelation 20: 5)
and the life in the age to come. (Mark 10: 29-30)

AMEN. (Psalm 106: 48)

Now I know I can and most likely will be flamed. But let's first go over one of the more obvious "contradictions" in this post.

The word catholic should never be confused with the Roman Catholic Church. Here's the simplest explanation of why.

The word catholic comes from the Greek word KATHOLIKOS which comes from KATA (a preposition with various meanings depending on the context, often meaning "down" or "negative" as in "catabolic" or "catastrophe" or "cathode," but also often meaning "according to")and HOLOS (meaning "whole" as in "holistic medicine," which claims to treat the whole patient and not just the particular ailment complained of), nd thus means, literally, "according to the whole."

St. Ignacious once stated that the church is katholikos or catholic, because it is for every man, woman, and child. He stated the church is "universal" in who it consists of. How can a roman catholic church exist? To me, it's like the term civil war, an oximoron. In fact St. Irenaeus argued that Christ had never handed any privy knowledge to anyone, which is counter the current claims of the RCC.

Moving on the Nicene Creed was adopted in the early 4th Century.. but it's points, such as Christ-God, and the Trinity since before then existed. In fact as early as pre-second century with the writing of the Gospels we read that "In the begining was the Word, and the Word was God, and the Word was with God. The same was in the begging with God. (John 1:1-2)" The Trinity (Trinitas) was a term used earlier on as well in 160 A.D by Theophilus bishop of Antioch in 160 A.D. Remember Antioch? The church from Acts 11:26... the first place where the term in debate "Christian" was used. And from when the term was first coin based on 1 John 5:7 (these three are one) which itself appears in the syraic text (completion 120 A.D.) and earlier manuscripts that may even predate the close of the first century, as well as later and parrallel manuscripts.

So where are these crazy guys getting there ideas from? Firstly, let me open up by saying the 1611 King James Bible has so far been the ONLY authorized translation. It's Old Testmanent passages come from the Rabbinic period where the scriptures were organized into what is now called the Ben Haim, the earliest complete source of the Old testmanent. The New Testament scriptures translate from most of the available materials that the Scholars had available literally 99.4% of available documents match. In fact they used several textus from which the crossed referenced the scriptures (defeating the foolish notion that 1 John 5:7 was an add-in). It's also the only public domain (non copyrighted, freely quotable) translation. Why would anyone want to copyright the Holy Bible? Same reason as why Satan does anything else. Profit. Imagine profiting of the Word of God?

Of course concurrently and afterwards other scripts were written. I believe it was Theophilus himself that rejected the greek Hexipla for including paganistic ideas such as modalism, yes modalism... Unitarians beware. Later these were translated into both the Vaticanus (RCC uses this currently) and the Satanicus its sister version, both latin scripts. Of course there are latin vulgates that do correspond with the greek and aramaic manuscripts. You ever noticed that the cults never like to read from the english King James Version? Why's that... here's why they have a rewrite... yes a rewrite, completely different. They will version hope between the New Age Version, from NIV to NLT... the only thing is these version were based on the leftover 0.6 % manuscripts from the New Testmanent... Guess where the Old Testmantment translations are from? Well sometime back in the 1940s there was a release of the Old Testmant in Europe. Funny thing was it was written in Germany, buy one of Hilter's best men, a Nazi... and a lot of Jews don't realize that they are reading the Nazi Bible. Scared yet? Good, cause realize that the debate over whether alam meant virgin or not didn't erupt to the level its at until the 1950's when this version of the Old Testmanent hit American Shores. Coincidence? Hmm...

Now I have already posted many things about these groups, the Trinitarian Doctrine, and Christ-God...

...So why this post?...

Because honestly, I have had my fill and I am sick to the stomache over the falsified Christian posers misleading innocent people... And I am in complete justificiation for these feelings. But, I weep for you all that find is so difficult to agree with these doctrines express in the Nicene Creed, which by the way was signed by all but two members of the council (think about this now) and they never listed a reason for withholding signature. You know test have shown that is it much easier to believe these doctrines than counterpoint because of the extreme length in twisting interpretations that people must take to disprove them. I think, that for these hellfire might be a little hotter, but whose to say. My deepest sorrows to those that commit 2 Peter 3:16. My plee come to Christ.

But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. ~2Cr 11:13

At face value these are the simplest and most evident things to concord with scripture, and even to a deeper level I have found in my personal studies. They tie the lose ends up with ease.

Just for once will all the real Christians put your hands up!!!

In my next post I hope to discuss 2 things, the Evangelical Ego and the Pentecostal Prison.

The Love of our Father and God, the power of the Son and our Lord, the fellowship of the Holy Spirit with you all,

Dean N. Gunraj

~Christ over death

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 01:09:23 GMT

A slated hello to you all...

To friends I haven't heard from in a while. To my dearest friends Serah and Dawn, my dearests cousins Laura and La Donna. To my gracious Shin and Samuel.

Bad news today...

I took a bad metrocard to school... I'm actually sitting here waiting for a freind to come bail me out.

Also more bad news...

I feel more like a zombie than ever. Perhaps it's the blatant lack of sleep that is constantly gnawing at my longevity. If sleep depravation is to be blamed then there must be some correlation between apathy and a disbalance in homeostasis.

In other news...

Well today I took this computer science final. Hopefully he curves the grades i know i got like -6 points on that one... if he curves it I can actually get an A+... rather than a measly A. It would be so nice to say I actually got a 4.25 GPA (even if only for one semester). But it's good motivation... teenk ahbout eet. LOL accent. Seriously though, if I get the A+ now... I can get it again... for Summer Session II... thats 2 4.25 GPA's to average in... I would be soooo happy with that, naturally though.

I just want this summer to be done, so fall can start and public schools can reopen, and I can get to work @ my new job... Network Administrator... Jumping into the career field early. But that's only because God has been overly gracious to appoint me relationships in higher places, and to soften the hearts of employers to be impressed enough by my hardly merritted skill set.

And finally...

What's up with people that just don't get the point? Here's the scoop ya'll: I am trying to be as nonmean about this thing as possible. (Honestly.) But why don't people get the point, not when you say it only once, nor two times, but fast foward to like *five* times! How many times will I have to find a nice way to remind her that we will never be friends. I have friends, I really don't want anymore. Mom always told me keep your friend to a minimum and you will lead a healthier life for it. And plus she could never fit my definition of a friend. To me a friend must be honest, caring, there for you, willing to sacrifice a lot so you can be happy a little. Selflessness and understanding. It's something I share with Bruno, Avi, and Rajan (although I do understand and respect our breaking points). I think this girl thinks that a friend means that I will be around any time she needs to use me. Wether it is for homework help, or computer help, or bland chit chat to quell any feelings of personal loneliness she might exhibit. Never that, I would rather die than be yoked about in such a manner. You can fly me to the moon, sink me in the deepest ocean, bury me at the bottom of the earth's crust, but to call yourself my friend... please that is an insult I cannot handle, and its response is so blatantly visibile in this indignant rant. So here's a message chickita... LEAVE ME ALONE and GET A LIFE!

To all my readers,
love you all.

P.S.: Shout out to Truman as well!

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 10:43:30 GMT

TWCNYC is getting on my nerves... My Internet connection is down again.

So what can I say. Ah well... Im typing this from school, drop me some props while I await a return to online.

In the meanwhile here is a spoof for geeks like me that are fans of J.R.R Tolkein (novelist that wrote the Lord of the Rings books... also a Christian):

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows XP CD. To my surprise he threw the CD into my microwave oven and turned it on. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it. What do you see?'

To my surprise the CD was quite cold to the touch and it seemed to be weightier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, an inscription finer than anything I had ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:

12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE820945092OF923A40EElOE5IOCC98D444AA08E324

'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said in a timid voice.

'No but I can,' he said. 'The letters are in Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here in the light of day. In common English this is what it says:

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

These are but two lines from a verse long known in Systems lore:

Three OS's from corporate kings in their towers of glass,
Seven from valley lords where orchards used to grow,
Nine from dotcoms doomed to die,
One from the Dark Lord Gates on his wight-wrought throne
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie.

One OS to rule them all,
One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them,
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Mon, 21 Jun 2004 10:47:41 GMT

Happy latent fathers day.

The one thing I noticed the most this fathers day is how many kids DON'T have a father. Billy Graham once said "A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society." I agree!

I thought about myself, my family, and a few friends; we are so blessed to have fathers to be there for us. Good men, God-fearing, workingly diligently for their children's sake. I felt so sad when I saw each of them going up for prayer just so they could bring their dads back. Firstly I thank my Father God, and my Lord Jesus Christ for my father.

It's not neccessarily a complete loss though. It might be actually a gain. To me it seems that in times past that God has given unto those exceedingly more that need it. He gave the sinners Christ and the gospels, he let the gentiles have the apostles, the weak are given strength, the poor-riches. I believe that God is a father to the fatherless. And to the kids that lack that essential dad, the have God who will fill in exceedingly more. It seems that life isn't a run of the mill randomness, as Paul said God has placed people in places for His honor and glory. This is the same glory He is willing to share with everyone, in Jesus Christ. For us that have those nice daddies... thank God, counting him a blessing. For those that can't say the same, be fully assured that God gives the expanse. And it's just as David said in Psalms 27:10... When my mother and father forsake me, then the LORD will take me up... in that sense He is a father to the fatherless (Psa 68:5).

P.S. I know my xanga is in disrepair... I'm working on a new layout, so don't fret.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 00:16:16 GMT

Ventrilo Server up and running... Hey all... I have set up a Ventrilo server. To connect you need the client... my IP is 69.22.230.181. connect and chat!